In today’s special episoden Lindsay has a conversation with Keith Boswell, the vice president of marketing at Mentavi Health and ADHD Online. Keith has championed the podcast from the beginning and like us, is an advocate for mental health and ADHD. 

Lindsay also shares some of her favorite moments from the first 100 episodes of Refocused, including highlights from these incredible episodes below. 

Episode 86 – I’m An Adult With ADHD And I Stole My Son’s Ritalin

Episode 77 – Managing Out of Sight, Out of Mind in an ADHD World with Dr. John Kruse

Episode 64 – ADHD and Finding Organizational Peace of Mind in 2023

Refocused, Together 2022 – Episode 13 – Evan Bierscheid and the ADHD Spectrum

By Beth Levine

Let’s face it, in these confusing times, we are all coping with a lot of stress: the pandemic, the economy, climate change, jobs that expect you to respond at all times, unstable employment, the 24-hour news cycles. And that’s just for starters.

People with ADHD, however, live with an even heightened level of stress. According to the non-profit Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or CHADD: “Researchers who study stress in people with ADHD have even noted higher levels of cortisol, a hormone released when a person feels stressed, than in people who don’t have ADHD. In fact, just thinking about the things that stressed them increased the amount of cortisol present in their bodies.”

Sharon Saline, PsyD, author of What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life, explains: “People with ADHD live at a high baseline of stress because living with a neurodivergent mind is very stressful. You see and experience things differently, and you don’t necessarily get the support you need. You’re struggling with executive functioning skills on a daily basis, and are always on heightened alert that you might be judged poorly.”

And chronic stress can take a huge physical toll on the body. According to the American Psychological Association, always being in fight-or-flight mode can have a negative impact on the body’s musculoskeletal, respiratory, cardiovascular, endocrine, gastrointestinal, nervous and reproductive systems. It increases the risk for hypertension, heart attack and stroke.

Which Comes First — Stress or ADHD?

An ongoing discussion among the ADHD community is: Do ADHD symptoms cause stress, or does ongoing stress make ADHD symptoms worse? Both are true, says Stephanie Sarkis, PhD, author of seven books, including 10 Simple Solutions to Adults ADD: How to Overcome Chronic Distraction and Accomplish Your Goals.

“The symptoms create more stress, and more stress and accompanying difficulties — such as lack of sleep or appetite — can exacerbate ADHD symptoms,” she says.

“It can seem as if one’s stimulant medication isn’t as effective, when it may actually be due to increased stress.”

Taming the Stress Monster

Sarkis says “effective treatment reduces the intensity of symptoms and can decrease the number of stressful situations people with ADHD experience. Since we can’t eliminate all stress, it is important to practice proactive daily self-care.”

She adds: “It’s not so much the stress as your ability to cope with it. So if you have good coping mechanisms in place, your body and your brain can handle stress better and you have fewer lasting impact.”

The standard (and often unhelpful) tips are: do less, make sure you have “me” time and similar suggestions. But what do you do when stuff must get done, when everyone is expecting you to do more, not less? And, truthfully, organizing your life is definitely not your strong point?

Here are some expert recommendations on how people with ADHD can manage and decrease stress:

• Get moving

The Mayo Clinic says that any form of exercise relieves stress by boosting endorphins, a hormone released in your brain that can give a feeling of well-being. Exercise also builds self-confidence.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommends that adults do two-and-one-half to five hours per week of moderate-intensity aerobic activity, or 75 minutes to two-and-one-half hours per week of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity. But if you can’t fit in full workouts, it’s important to remember that even brief ten-minute bursts of activity can add up.

• Think small

When you look at everything that needs to get done, you don’t know where to start so you don’t. Break every job down into manageable bites. Write down each step and cross them off as you accomplish them.

• Control your technology

The constant bombardment and stimulation of emails, texts and voicemails is very hard for people with ADHD to manage. They can be a significant source of stress.

Sarkis recommends pausing them an hour before bed. “If that’s difficult to do, try shutting electronics off 15 minutes before bed, then increase it to a half-hour a few nights later, then 45 minutes to work your way up to an hour,” she says. “Because when we look at devices, our brain gets more active and (that) inhibits melatonin release. And so, if we shut them off, we’re able to transition better into sleep.”

• Create transition times

You can make those electronics work for you. People with ADHD generally have a hard time transitioning from one focus source to another. Mobile apps or software like Rescue Time keep track of your time and let you know when you have to be finished or go to the next task. Time Timer is a visual timer that lets you see the passage of time.

Saline also recommends leaving an alarm or your phone across the room, so that when it goes off, you actually have to get up to deal with it, thus breaking your fascination with whatever internet rabbit hole you have gone down.

• Establish a routine

Thursdays are laundry days; the dog gets fed at 5 p.m.; your daily walks are at noon. Everyone can have a routine. “Your body gets used to that rhythm, and it becomes easier to follow. You reduce stress by knowing what you will be doing when,” says Sarkis.

• Write it down

You think you can keep it all in your head, but that hasn’t worked in the past. Instead, make visual reminders. Get big erasable calendars and post them at sight level in the most trafficked areas of your house or workplace. If you are waking up at 3 a.m. and worrying about everything that has to get done, get up, make a list and place it where you will have to see it, like on the bathroom sink.

• Stop judging yourself

One of the problems of having ADHD is that you may see your issues in judgmental terms, such as: “I’m hopeless. I can’t do anything right. I always screw up. Why can’t I just do this?”

Remind yourself that these issues have nothing to do with lack of will power; they are a concrete issue of the way your brain works.

Saline recommends that you offer yourself encouragement by trying to notice what’s actually going well.

“There’s been a lot of research that shows that if, at the end of the day, you write down three things that went well or good enough, it can shift you away from pessimism into more positive thinking. It doesn’t have to be huge accomplishments – just three things that made you feel good,” she says.

• Meditation and mindfulness

What’s the worst thing someone can say to you when you are stressed? “Calm down!”

Just saying that makes you more anxious, right? Learning to meditate or be mindful is a way you can calm yourself. Practice it daily and not just in the heat of the moment, and you will reap a cumulative effect.

Saline recommends Headspace and Insight Timer, which are easily accessible mobile apps that can help you slow down and settle down. An added bonus: that can help you sleep better.

• Do relaxation training

Relaxation training techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery or deep breathing can be very helpful. A 2021 study published in Evidence Based Complementary Alternative Medicine found that all of these techniques produced states of relaxation. As with meditation, practice them often; don’t just rely on the effects to kick in when you are in the middle of an anxiety attack.

• Practice makes better … not perfect

Remember: No one can be perfect. In fact, that expectation of perfection is just another stressor. But you can learn to make your load a little lighter.

Sarkis reiterates that more important than the stressors is your ability to cope with them. “If you can practice and implement these skills, they can eventually become a habit and will kick in much more quickly when you need it,” she says.

By Michelle Seitzer

While the rest of the world is spring cleaning, it’s just another round of “reclaim the bathroom for the rest of us” or “find the floor again” at my house.

As a person who loves order, I knew being married to someone with ADHD meant I’d have to get comfortable with messes. 

What I didn’t know is how many messes there would be. I pictured an overflowing hamper in a bedroom corner, and maybe a bathroom counter cluttered with toiletries.

Instead, there are multiple areas of mess throughout the house, and the objects are mixed up. It’s not only a pile of clothes, it’s a pile of dirty and clean clothes — plus some paperwork, trash, and maybe a set of keys.

While we’ve had plenty of fights about lost keys and wallets over the years, we’ve found what works for cleaning and decluttering our home together. And we’re going on 19 years of marriage, so — believe it or not — ADHD and organization can live under the same roof.

Here’s how we make it work: 

Tip 1: Activate those hyperfocus skills.

Many people with ADHD tend to fixate on a preferred activity, object, topic or food, and this fixation can last for hours, weeks or even months. While you may get tired of hearing about their latest interest, hyperfocus is a superpower when it comes to cleaning and decluttering. 

When my husband is fixated on spending time in his workshop, he can organize the place like a pro. It may take hours, but if he’s given that windfall of time to stay at it — uninterrupted — he can get the job done.

Tip 2: Support the process in helpful ways.

About that “uninterrupted” thing: It’s important to give your partner space and time to work on that huge pile of clothes, tools or paperwork on which you’re requesting their focused attention. That means: Don’t nag them, don’t pressure them with constant reminders and check-ins, don’t criticize how they’re doing or how fast they’re moving, and certainly don’t control the process. 

Instead, offer help. But first, ask what type of help is best. My husband likes when I talk to him while he’s working on matching a hundred pairs of socks. When he’s organizing his workshop, he’s usually on the phone with a friend. It may seem like a distraction, but it actually helps him focus (probably because the social connection distracts him from the non-preferred task of cleaning up).

Tip 3: Choose a day and time that’s ideal.

A Saturday with nothing on the calendar may be a rarity. But when it pops up, it’s a great opportunity for focusing on projects that require a few hours of uninterrupted time. If you set out to clear out the entire garage on a weekend when you’ve got a Costco run and two birthday parties to attend, there will be issues. You’re either a) going to procrastinate, b) start, but get massively frustrated when you have to stop — and then avoid cleaning out the garage for the next two years, c) argue with your spouse about who has more junk, or d) all of the above.

A word to the wise: Plan your big jobs for days when you have lots of time. And even then, don’t be a hero, and don’t blow the entire plan-free weekend on cleaning and decluttering. It feels good to look out at a clean garage. But spending every free minute of an open weekend on cleaning it does not.

Tip 4: Manage overwhelm with motivation.

I may not have ADHD, and organizing is a preferred activity for me. But I still have moments of total overwhelm when it comes to certain cleaning tasks. Often, that feeling leads to avoidance. These feelings are magnified for my spouse with ADHD, and it’s why he often seeks my help in getting started on clearing a pile of stuff. 

If it’s his desk that needs clearing, I’ll go through first and sort the stuff into “categories.” Then, he’ll come and take the piles away one at a time, putting the objects where he prefers them to be: paperwork in a filing cabinet, books on a shelf, pens and pencils in a vintage coffee can, odds-and-end tools to his workshop. 

Another way we manage overwhelm is through motivation. “After we do this for one hour, we’ll go for a hike.” Or: “After I can see my desk again, I’ll buy myself that new ergonomic mouse pad I want.”  

Tip 5: Set a goal and visualize it.

My husband uses a big dry erase board in the basement where he can see it — to block off his time and schedule tasks. He often starts by making a bullet list of goals: “During spring break, I will … . ” Then he’ll sit down with a calendar and designate a task or two a day based on what else is on tap for the week. 

Breaking things down into smaller, more manageable chunks helps everyone feel at ease about cleaning and decluttering. This makes the giant looming thing called “spring cleaning” seem doable. And you’re more likely to experience success — both individually and as a team. 

Read more about ADHD and marriage in What I’ve Learned as the Spouse of Someone with ADHD. And read more about home organization in “Cleaning and Organizing with ADHD: A Tool to Help You Stay On Task.” 

• Intro to this episode 0:00
• The importance of taking care of yourself first 10:40
• What is executive function? 14:29
• The importance of structure in the home 23:21
• The realization of how much time you are wasting 33:14
• How to get organized 35:33
• The importance of being nice to ourselves 45:01
• How to find time to organize your life 54:11

Lisa Woodruff is the founder & CEO of Organize 365®. As the host of the top-rated Organize 365 Podcast, with 17 million downloads & counting, Lisa shares strategies for reducing the overwhelm, clearing the mental clutter, and living a productive and organized life. She is the author of four books including, How ADHD Affects Home Organization and The Paper Solution.

Clutter exists in almost everyone’s home. It’s a reality of having things — and so many places to (not) put them.

But clutter and disorganization can become much different in homes of people who have ADHD. Clutter and disorganization can become worse — because of procrastination and other traits associated with ADHD. And as the clutter worsens, that can trigger feelings of being overwhelmed and out of control — additional traits of ADHD.

But there are ways for people with ADHD to deal with clutter and keep their home organized and clutter free. ADHD Online has explored some helpful tips — including the “Chuck It Bucket.”

The transition to college is huge for most students.

College students have more freedom and less structure. They have more distractions, very different social situations and less support than they had as a high school senior at home.

All of it can be invigorating — and challenging — for students without ADHD. It can be even more challenging for students with ADHD.

But experts say that some basic ideas on managing time and tasks can help. ADHD Online talked with experts to get their tips on how new college students with ADHD can tackle the challenges, better manage time and succeed at college.

What we’re reading this week: Sarah Ludwig Rausch dives into her own ADHD journey in The Daydreamer: Why ADHD in Females Is Underdiagnosed.

Organizing family holidays can be overwhelming for anyone, especially when you have ADHD. It’s everything people with ADHD often struggle with: time management, planning and prioritizing, forgetfulness, perfectionism and impulsive spending.

How can you make organizing the family gathering less stressful and enjoy your Christmas or other holidays?

Make a plan well in advance

First of all, together with your family, make a plan before the holidays, so you have plenty of time to get everything ready. Make sure everyone has their responsibilities. Break down the tasks into smaller steps and assign deadlines, so the process is less overwhelming.

Discuss travel arrangements with your guests as soon as possible to better manage your time, especially in the last moments before the holidays. Ask when they will arrive and if they need to be picked up at the airport or train or bus station.

Consider using a whiteboard or a calendar so you can track everything.

Be realistic about what you can do

Organizing a holiday family gathering can feel like you must go all out and be a perfect host, but don’t let the pressure overshadow what’s most important. It’s the time to rest and be with your loved ones, not run yourself into the ground, trying to push your limits.

Don’t hesitate to ask for help, like asking an aunt to bake her legendary cheesecake, or forgo some traditions to lessen the load, like sending holiday cards.

Make holiday shopping ADHD-friendly

Online and store shopping

Consider ordering at least a part of your grocery shopping online. While you may want to pick fresh produce yourself, it’s safe to order cleaning products, cosmetics, drinks or canned food.

If you want to shop in person, go early or late to avoid wild crowds. To make it less stressful, visit a store you’re familiar with or go with someone else, so you can go through the shopping list faster — and lower the risk of impulsive spending.

Shopping lists

Split them into categories or, even better, into several phases. You won’t get your grocery shopping done in one trip. You’ll need to buy some things in advance, while others — like perishable items — just before the holidays.

Keep track

Again, consider a whiteboard or a paper pad you can place in the kitchen to track the progress and modify the list as soon as possible before you forget or get distracted. You might also consider an online document or app you can share with your family.

Simplify meal preparation

Create a menu for each day and a list of food that will be eaten through the holidays, like desserts and condiments.

It might be tempting to plan over-ambitious, lavish dinners that will wow your guests. But keep it simple. You don’t need even more stress.

Order some dishes

Consider ordering some dishes, like cakes or meats, from local businesses. Or schedule a take-out night. The kids will probably love it.

Easy food prep

There are many easy but delicious things you can prepare in advance. Marinate fish or meat and just pop it into the oven later. Prepare stuffings, sauces or desserts earlier and freeze or refrigerate them. On the last day, you can make a meal out of leftovers. That will also mean you don’t waste food!

Create ground rules for guests

Remember that being accommodating as a host doesn’t mean not respecting your boundaries. Create some rules, especially if you have a complicated family situation. For example, some guests can come over for coffee or lunch but not stay overnight.

Discuss with others such issues as noise, touching (for example, hugging is okay, but not kisses), or your need to have some quiet time every day.

If alcohol or junk food makes your ADHD worse, you can also ask people not to bring those items when they visit.

Take care of yourself

It’s easy to burn out when you’re the one organizing holiday gatherings. Especially if you have ADHD, planning, time management and the overall pressure can be overwhelming. Schedule some quiet time to unwind. Or exercise to release some tension.

Respect your limits and boundaries so you can rest and enjoy the holidays too.

Resources:

Additude Mag: The Goof-proof Guide to Holiday Entertaining

CHADD: Holiday Meal Planning? You Can Do That

The transition from K-12 education to college can be startling, especially for people with ADHD. While there are many things you might struggle with as a student with ADHD, being able to manage time may be one of the most challenging.

Not in college yet? Don’t worry; these tips will also help you in high school!

ADHD and time blindness

Time perception and ADHD have a rocky relationship at best. Time blindness makes it hard to gauge time and can manifest as:

• Feeling like time is constantly slipping away, and you have no control over it
• Being unable to estimate how long a task will take or how much time has passed
• Often being late to meetings or missing deadlines
• Losing track of time
• Having trouble with planning

Time management is a challenge because of other aspects of ADHD as well, like poor impulse control, distractibility or difficulty with motivation. It often leads to taking on too much or procrastinating, which results in too little time and too much stress.

How to better manage time as a student with ADHD

Experts offer some tips to students with ADHD that can help them better manage their time. Those tips include:

• Be realistic about your abilities

Be honest about what you can handle without pushing yourself. Don’t sign up for too many classes or those starting in the morning if you barely function before 10 a.m. You most likely can manage it for a whole semester, but you’re risking burning out completely. You need enough time to sleep and rest so you can stay healthy and better manage your ADHD symptoms.

“Set yourself up for success by scheduling your classes at times of the day when you find it easiest to pay attention, and when you think you can get there on time,” clinical psychologist Mary Roney, PhD, writes in an article for the non-profit Child Mind Institute’s website.

• Find a planner that works

How often have you heard someone suggest: “Just use a planner”? If only it were that easy. But don’t immediately give up on the idea. Consider using a digital calendar and having a whiteboard or printable calendar placed somewhere visible so you can always check your schedule. You can also try color coding to better organize and prioritize the tasks and appointments.

• Alarms and reminders

A big plus of digital calendars is setting reminders and alarms — as many as you want. We almost always have a phone or a smartwatch on us, so it’s unlikely we’ll miss that reminder about medication or a study group meeting.

• Add some buffer time

If it’s difficult to estimate how much time you need for a task, it’s better to err on the side of caution. Set your own deadlines a few days before the actual ones. That should give you enough time to finish the assignment, even with potential procrastination.

It saves you a lot of stress, and you finish work a few days early.

• Try the Pomodoro technique

Deciding on time, not results, can make starting work and scheduling easier. Don’t try to write the whole essay — that could take hours and lead to frustration or procrastination. Decide to write for one hour instead, or even just 15 minutes.

The Pomodoro technique is excellent for such time-based goals. It’s simple yet effective: you have a period during which you work, and then you have a break. Usually, it’s 25 minutes of working and five minutes of rest. It could be longer or shorter — test what works for you. The important thing is to be able to focus during that set time.

• Break tasks into smaller steps

For people with ADHD, having a to-do list with general tasks can be overwhelming. Instead, try to break tasks down into smaller ones. “I need to know exactly what steps I will be taking to start the … process. And I need the checklist to refer to when I get stuck or distracted,” says Tyler Dosey, ADHD coach, in her recent article for the ADHD Online blog about creating lasting habits.

These steps can be as tiny or detailed as you like. It’s about your comfort and finding the motivation actually to get them done. You don’t have to do everything on the list at once. It can be easier to do just one thing today.

If you find detailed lists paralyzing, try writing down just the first few steps to help you get going.

• Do some shadow work

Shadowing or body doubling means working while having company. Don’t hesitate to ask your partner, roommate or friend to hang out. They can read a book, nap or also tackle their assignments. The important thing is to be together. Of course, you can arrange a video call as well.

You can also look for an accountability buddy on campus or online, sign up for a study group or create one with your friends or people from the same class.

• Apply for accommodations

Two federal laws require K-12 schools to create special plans for students who need special education help, including kids with ADHD. One law requires an Individualized Education Program, or IEP, for each special education student. A separate law requires something called a 504 Plan for certain students.

Neither of these laws apply to college education. But that doesn’t mean you’re left with no options. There are still many accommodations that you can ask for from your college or college instructor. They can help you better manage your time and workload. A couple possible accommodations: extended deadlines for certain assignments, or assistance with lecture notes and recordings.

Sources:

Child Mind Institute: Tips for Going to College With ADHD

Attention Deficit Disorder Association: Recommended Accommodations for College Students with ADHD

This talk includes step-by-step guidance on how to create personalized solutions to overcome mental roadblocks—as well as unconventional strategies, gamified activities, and real-world examples from her new book, The Anti-Planner.

Dani Donovan is an award-winning ADHD creator whose viral comics and TikTok videos helped build an online community of validation and solidarity for neurodivergent adults. Her content aims to help those with ADHD understand themselves, feel a sense of belonging, and better explain their invisible struggles to loved ones. She was the closing keynote speaker for the 2021 International ADHD Conference and has been featured in publications such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Guardian. She recently self-published an activity book for procrastinators called The Anti-Planner: How to Get [Stuff] Done When You Don’t Feel Like It, and her influence has helped thousands of people seek diagnosis and treatment for ADHD.